It’s ok not to be ok

Shannon Hockford, Contributing Writer

Mental health is something I’ve struggled with for a while, the constant negative thoughts, feeling like you failed everyone, being so doubtful you accomplished something you sabotage yourself, not feeling worthy, and so much more. It’s something that everyone experiences, some more than others, but to know you’re not alone is a better feeling. It’s like a drug addiction. You want to stop the awful feeling, but you can’t because once you feel happy you start sabotaging yourself with negative thoughts. It’s a never-ending cycle. It makes me not want to try “it’s a lack of motivation that’s killing you,” as they say. Little do they know I’m slowly drowning in a million problems that I’ve created in my head. I’m too busy overthinking every move to stop and realize that the sky is blue. I’m too busy feeling like a failure because I’m not living up to the standards, yet I won’t try because I know I’ll never meet them. My actions reflect my mindset, you can tell me 100 reasons why life is worth living but If I don’t feel that way then those 100 mean nothing.  Saying “well think happy thoughts” is the equivalent to saying, “you’re in debt, so make money.” It’s simple yet hard, and everyone experiences something different, but no matter what you feel everything is worth talking about. Every issue is worth sharing because none are too big nor too small to share. You’re supposed to be happy, not laying in your bed feeling defeated. As challenges arise, overcoming them is the best feeling. Life is worth living, so instead of pondering doubtfully, just try to overcome it every day as it arises.