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How do I not catch a crush for someone???

Dear Shaker Bison, alright so this question is mainly for classmates because I’m not sure if a teacher could answer this. How do I not catch a crush for someone??? ~ Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Although you can’t just stop having feelings for someone abruptly, you might be relieved to know that crushes don’t last forever, and you will eventually get over the person you are crushing on! Some are more temporary than others—it might fizzle out after just a few weeks… or it might take a little longer.  But until then, think about the situation and what your feelings really mean. Do you really know this person, or are you making assumptions about what they are like? 

If you are just making assumptions, try to talk to them. (If you are shy, try asking a mutual friend to help you get to know each other more naturally!) Getting to know the person will often change how you feel about them and might help you overcome the crush.

If you do know this person, think about if there is a real reason you shouldn’t be together. Are they in a relationship? Or are you sure they don’t feel the same way? You might find that the relationship wouldn’t work and you can try to move on from there. Crushes are temporary, and quietly waiting it out will nearly always work.

Now if you weigh all of these things, find a bit of courage, and feel it’s right, it could be a good idea to tell them about your feelings. If it’s a stronger, longer-lasting crush, it might be worthwhile to take a chance and put yourself out there. One bold way to resolve a crush is to express your feelings to the other person, and you never know! They might feel the same way.

One thing that helps is to realize that they are human too. I know it can seem a bit tuff to not idolize them, but they make mistakes and have feelings as well. The more you see them as the way others view each other, you may find that the feelings you have either fizzle out or become stronger!

The most important things to think about, however: do not let these feelings take over your life and give it time. Moving on or confronting your feelings can be hard, but always remember that (regardless of your relationship status) you are your own individual with your own life to take care of. 

Best of luck to you!

~ The Shaker Bison 


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